How To Deal With Motivation Blocking Fears
Introduction
Even the most confident among us deals with fear at some point in his or her life. Fears are a natural part of our psyche, signaling that we are uneasy in our present situation. But, understanding where fear comes from and how to deal effectively with them can keep them from blocking your motivation or impacting your success and happiness in life.
Learning to overcome your fears is an essential life skill. Conquering anxiety, pushing past hesitation, and creating your own path toward success can help you achieve your dreams, despite the fears that may be lurking in your mind.
Why Should I Deal with My Fears?
Dealing with fear is not the same as having no fear.
You will never successfully eliminate fear from your life, but you can learn to cope with your angst and even use it to your advantage when necessary.
Fear, after all, is a biological mechanism, designed to alert us to impending danger. Because our modern lives lack much of the physical threat that our prehistoric ancestors faced, our apprehensions today have evolved to encompass so much more than bodily harm or scarcity of resources. Looking past the physical fears and those that are related to psychological phobias, there are numerous commonalities among what makes people afraid.
These that can affect your motivation, the ability to achieve your goals, and your overall happiness.
We’ll examine these different types of worries to understand from where they originate.
Knowing the source of your fear is the first step toward dealing with it effectively. Then, we’ll share ways to cope with them successfully, so they stop interfering with your ability to stay motivated and excited about achieving your goals.
Why is it essential that you learn to manage your fears? For one, it influences your emotions. When you are afraid, this also impacts the decisions you make. Allowing anxiety to control your life can affect your overall outlook, amplifying your perceptions of risks and keeping you from experiencing life to its fullest.
Finally, living in fear is actually not good for your physical health, either.
Fear can have a significant impact on your motivation to continue past setbacks and obstacles to achieve your dreams. Anxiety can keep you from pursuing new goals, taking risks, being vulnerable with others, or taking a chance that could have high rewards for you. Learning to control and minimize the impact your fear has on your life will allow you to achieve your goals, stay focused, and continue to be excited about what lies ahead.
Controlling your worry starts with realizing two critical concepts. #1. Most of your fears are not really “protecting” you. If you have a fear of something that is not going to harm you physically, you need to learn to control that dread. These sources of anxiety are not protecting you from harm and, instead, they may actually be causing more damage to your overall happiness.
Reducing emotionally-based fears is essential for unlocking your potential and helping you achieve all you want in life.#2. When you are afraid, more fears will grow. The longer you tolerate irrational concerns that serve no physical purpose, the more likely you are to become fearful of other things.
Staying afraid reduces your ability to see your anxieties as irrational and to make choices to deal with these emotions, as your fears become more concrete and embedded into your psyche. Releasing your fears can allow you to see things more clearly, to have a more positive outlook about your future, and to better identify the sources of possible new fears when they start to creep in. In short, they make you better able to ward off new anxieties and help you attain your goals.
So, what are the types of fears most commonly affecting motivation? Below, we outline each of these, including a few you may recognize within yourself or others. For each, we’ve included some possible sources for these fears, but fears can sometimes have deep-seeded roots. You may want to talk with a mental health professional if you are concerned about the initial source of your worries, especially if they are having a profound impact on your motivation.
The Fears that Interfere with Motivation
While fear is an emotion, it most certainly is not a single feeling, and not all concerns are created equally. Many different types of anxieties can influence your motivation and ability to accomplish your goals. Fears have a considerable influence on your sense of efficacy and perseverance, changing how well you bounce back from adversity and setbacks. Knowing the root of your concerns can help you deal with the more effectively.
Fear of Failure
This is perhaps one of the strongest and most pervasive fears among us.
Fear of failure can influence most of our actions and decisions, especially when it comes to personal or professional goals. Your definition of failure is particular to you, and what you deem to be something that has failed may seem very different from others.
The fear of failure is really about how you will feel disappointed afterward. You tried your best, but things didn’t work out as you had hoped, and this can leave you feeling like, “Why should I bother trying again?”
Instead of looking at failure as something bad, though, another perspective is to consider failure as an opportunity to try again, this time with more information. You should learn a great deal from every experience and trial, and if you apply what you learned the next time, your chances of succeeding are even higher. Failure does not have to be a negative experience if you have the right attitude about what it can teach you.
Fear of Success
This fear could be the considered the opposite of the fear of failure, and it is sometimes referred to as “impostor syndrome.”
This emotion stems from an anxiety that others will see your success and capabilities but that you will not be “worthy” of these accolades.
You doubt that you are good enough for the success you are achieving and that sometime in the future, others will realize this, too. You don’t believe you have the abilities others’ think you have.
An important thing to remember is that nearly everyone feels this way, at some point or another. No matter how old you are, you probably still consider yourself learning to be an adult or not quite having it together like others in your age range should.
The truth is, we’re all figuring it out as we go, none of us are perfect, and we all deserve the achievements of our hard work and determination.
Fear of Inadequacy
Being afraid that you aren’t “enough” is another common fear. You may fear you aren’t talented enough for that promotion, pretty enough for that new mate, smart enough to try a new business venture, or financially stable enough to achieve your goals.
These feelings of inadequacy often stem from a fear of rejection, by others or “the establishment,” so these two are often intertwined with each other.
Your fear of inadequacy is really about the expectations and standards you set for your own life. You are probably the harshest critic you will ever face, and you expect far more from yourself than most people will ever expect of you. Recognizing your own role in this defeatist attitude is the first step toward conquering this fear.
Fear of Change
Many people fear change.
The future is all unknown to us, so controlling what you can and keeping as many variables constant seems like a good strategy for minimizing life’s surprises and disappointments. That is until you realize that, even the most carefully crafted life that remains constant is subject to disappoint, setbacks, and obstacles.
When you spend a good deal of time worrying about change, you are not even able to enjoy the unique experiences that come with new opportunities and circumstances. You will then be even more unprepared for what lies ahead. Learning to live life in the now is an important life skill, as it teaches you to appreciate that all experiences in life have something to teach you.
Fear of the Unknown
Fear of the unknown is closely related to a fear of losing control.
This fear starts with the premise that you should not move forward unless you know what lies ahead. Knowing what’s going to happen means you can control your reaction to the situation, but the unknown leaves you with a lack of control.
Some people like a high amount of control in their lives, and when opportunities or situations present a lack of clarity about what might happen, the need for control supersedes all other wishes and takes control.
Fear of the unknown is an evolutionary survival tool that allowed our ancestors to survive and thrive. And while fear of the unknown may rightfully keep you from wandering into physically dangerous situations, it does not need to prevent you from trying new things and taking risks to achieve your dreams.
In fact, taking chances on new things can help you develop even more skills to plan more effectively for the future and provide you with new insights to help you be even more successful.
Fear of Rejection
Like many of the other fears discussed here, fearing rejection isn’t just about the rejection itself but about the consequences of that rejection. If you are rejected in your professional life, what does that say about your knowledge and expertise?
If you are rejected in your personal life, does that mean you’ll never find love and be happy?
The experience of being rejected often triggers a landslide of other fears– inadequacy, failure, change, judgment, pain– that can be difficult to manage.
The key to dealing with rejection is to realize that, like failure, it is merely a chance to learn and grow. Rejection doesn’t have to be personal; it can instead be a data point to help you improve in the future. Rejection cultivates your resilience to setbacks, and it takes courage and fortitude to be aware that rejection is making you a stronger person.
Fear of Judgment
The fear of being unwanted, not liked, or unworthy is often extremely difficult to overcome. Throughout life, we accept judgment from as well as judge others on various sets of social norms, and when we are judged negatively by others, this has a direct and powerfully negative impact on our self-esteem.
This fear can manifest in many ways, including accepting less for yourself, keeping your opinions or views silent, avoiding activities for fear of ridicule, or even hiding aspects of your life from friends, co-workers, or family members.
Most of us strive not to care what others think, but this goal is easier said than done for many of us. But it turns out you don’t need to be exceptionally courageous to stop fearing judgment. Instead, you need to accept that the world does not need to approve of you.
You can start by suspending judgment upon others, which will leave you less likely to fear that same judgment from them. Suspending judgment means you are instead curious about others and ask questions to understand them better, leaving you less likely to feel that others are always judging you, as well.
Fear of Missing Out
The fear of missing out has become a modern-day phenomenon that can be closely tied to the advent of social media. FOMO, as it is sometimes called, really is about how we judge our own lives in comparison to what we perceive others are doing. It leads to questions like, “Am I doing everything I should or could be?” and “Why does he/she have X, but I don’t?”
Fear of missing out is all about comparing yourself to others and their accomplishments or lifestyles, and it is a distracting habit that can leave you feeling less than when, in reality, you have everything you need in life.
An alternative to this mindset is to focus on mindfulness and gratitude, which keeps you aware of what is positive in your life, what makes you happy in the moment. Another good strategy is to eliminate or lessen your use of social media platforms, like Facebook, which provide fuel for false assumptions about how much “better” other people are than you.
Overcoming Your Fears
Learning to overcome or effectively quash your fears can help you increase your motivation and help you accomplish whatever you set your mind toward. While not all strategies will be useful for all types of concerns, most of these apply to multiple situations.
Start with one or two, and if you find they are not bringing you success, shift to another that works better for you. Whatever you do, don’t give up.
Learning to deal with fears is a process that will take time and effort and giving up before you see results may lead to even more anxiety about your worries in the future.
Acknowledge Your Fears
The first step in dealing with and overcoming any fear is recognizing what is happening.
Knowledge about your anxieties, which can be blocking your motivation and ability to succeed, is essential. While understanding that you are afraid is essential, it is also critical that you dig a little deeper to help recognize the source of your dismay. This can help determine the best course of action in dealing with your fears in the future.
Change “What If?” to “So What?”
Instead of fighting against your fears, instead accept that you are, indeed, afraid.
Embrace the vulnerability of your fear, replacing a “what if” mentality with one that asks, “so what?” So, what if you fail, what’s the worst that can happen? So, what if you aren’t 100% successful in your attempt?
What can you learn from the situation to apply in the future? Changing this mindset means you are no longer fearful but instead are accepting that it will happen, and you can move past it.
Stop Accepting Others’ Input About You
When someone else expresses an unfavorable opinion of you, the one thing you need to understand is this- It’s not about you. Their judgment is never actually about you but instead reflects the person who is judging.
When you allow others’ opinions to influence your actions, you are giving over power to someone who has no stake in you. Are you willing to let others influence your life when they do not have to live with the consequences of your actions? Are you willing to let one person’s subjective notions of good or bad effect your beliefs and values?
The only person who matters in your life is you. If you are acting in accordance with your values and ideals, if you are happy with your choices, if you feel good about your decisions, that is ALL that matters. Period. Others don’t get a say because others aren’t living your life.
Stop Judging Others
When you judge other people, you are perpetuating the cycle of judging that is creating more fear in your life. When you judge others, you are accepting that their judgment of you is acceptable, as well. You are probably most afraid of being judged on those things for which you are most willing to judge others.
So, the next time you find yourself wanting to express your opinion about someone else’s choices or ability, consider how you will feel if others judge you in the same way. When you judge others less, you expect to be judged less, as well.
Practice Daily Gratitude
When you focus on what you have, what is working in your life, and the people who help you achieve your goals, you have less room in your heart and your mind to focus on fears. Ignoring barriers and dealing with fears starts with an assessment of all that is positive in your life, so practice daily gratitude exercises to get your mindset focused in the right direction.
Remember the Big Picture
Regardless of the reason for your fear, focusing on the bigger picture can help put your worries into a context that allows you see they aren’t such a big deal. Remembering your values, your beliefs, and your ultimate purpose in life can help you see fears for what they are, which is minor nuisances that need to be handled.
Focusing on the big picture in life will also help you understand that this moment is just a small piece of a much larger puzzle and is occupying only a tiny blip in your existence. Fears lose their importance, and therefore their power when you place them in the context of your full life, your larger dreams, and your life’s purpose.
Try, Try Again
We will all experience setbacks in life. Failure is not an option; it is a reality. It’s what you learn from your obstacles and challenges that sets you apart from the pack, and when you remember to keep trying, you are allowing yourself to develop many essential life skills that will continue to serve you well into the future.
Learn Something New
When you are fearful, it often means you lack confidence in your abilities or knowledge. This is a chance to enhance your knowledge base by learning something new to give you the tools you need to succeed. You aren’t born knowing everything you need to know in life, so stop being fearful of things just because maybe you don’t have full experience in it, yet. Learning is a part of life, and you can use your fear to motivate you to learn the new skills you need to accomplish your goals.
Be A Model for Others
When you are fearful, that’s the perfect time to show others how important it is to continue, despite your apprehension. Your act of modeling for others and putting forth positive effort in the face of anxiety can not only spur you on and build more positive momentum but also show others how to succeed despite their own inner demons.
Do Something Every Day That Scares You
Fear doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and when you avoid it all the time, that means you are never taking risks or trying something new. Moving boldly toward fear and trying small things each day that scare you just a little can teach you to stop being afraid of fear and to embrace it instead. Placing yourself in the direct path of fear can help you deal with your anxieties productively.
Write it Down
Making a list of your fears and writing about those things that spark anxiety in you throughout the day can help you understand your concerns better and handle them more effectively. Keeping a journal can help you identify the triggers to your fears, how well you are handling particular anxieties, and assist in identifying some possible areas for improvement.
Ask for Help
If your fears are getting the better of you and standing in the way of achieving your dreams, it may be time to seek assistance. Help can come from many places, including your friends, family, and partner. Help in handling fears, though, also can come from a professional.
Mental health counselors and therapists are trained to help you identify your fears, understand their origins, and deal with them appropriately. When concerns are deep-seeded and stem back to childhood trauma or other significant events, it may be necessary to get the help of a professional to deal with them effectively and for good.
Other Benefits of Dealing with Your Fear
Fear not only interferes with your motivation but can lead to increased procrastination.
Waiting for the right circumstances to come along is often a strategy to minimize what you fear the most and can lead to paralyzing inaction. Dealing with your dread can end your procrastinating and get you motivated to reach your goals. When you learn to conquer or deal with your fears, you not only can improve your motivation but also enhance other aspects of your life.
Dealing with your fears can help improve your self-confidence. When you learn to master your fears and make them work for you, you feel better about your ability to accomplish your goals and achieve your dreams. Boost your self-esteem by dealing with those fears in a healthy, productive way. The work of handling your worries also helps you develop self-awareness, which can transform your life.
Working on your fears is a powerful exercise in self-discipline. When you work to overcome fears and push past them, you are showing yourself that you are willing to do what it takes to achieve your dreams. You are delaying your short-term gratification of relieving your anxiety by powering forward to attain what matters most to you.
Dealing With Fears to Improve Your Motivation
Motivation is a crucial component to achieving any goal and mastering your fears can help you remain motivated and focused toward that attainment. Your motivation is what keeps you on the path to success, even in the face of short-term setbacks and anxieties that can derail your progress. Learning to tackle those fears can, therefore, keep you moving directly toward your vision for your life.
When asked what keeps them from being successful, most people (who answer honestly) respond with something that identifies a fear in their life. It may be anxiety about not realizing their dreams, fear of not being worthy of success, or even just dismay their lives may change drastically if they actually meet their target.
All of these signals a fear that, while powerful for the person experiencing them, serves no real purpose in their lives. They are irrational and unproductive, and learning to identify and stop these is an essential life skill we should all learn.
Learning how to deal with your fears does not mean you won’t have any more troubles in life. It doesn’t mean that you still might fail or experience heartbreak. But it does mean you have healthier methods for handling these fears to continue to grow and evolve.