How Your Self Esteem Defines And Identifies You
How and Why Your Self Esteem Is Integral To Your Identity
Self-esteem and identity are crucial components of the self, or everything that makes you, you – your appearance, values, beliefs, what you do, and what others think of you.
At first, small children start defining themselves by simple ideas based on their physical self:
I am a boy or a girl.
I have blond or dark hair.
I have short hair.
I have one sibling.
But as you grow older, your sense of self becomes more nuanced as your actions, beliefs, and social interactions grow more complex.
For example, your job or profession, religious beliefs, ethnicity and nationality, class, relationships, and many other aspects of your life complete your picture of the self.
What is identity?
In his article “Self-Concept, Self-Esteem, and Identity,” Roy F. Baumeister defines identity as the knowledge you have about yourself, and how you answer the questions “Who are you?”.
For Baumeister, identity is both continuous and different.
On the one hand, you are the same person you were five days or five years ago – your name, beliefs, appearance, occupation, and relationships over time.
And on the other hand, what defines your identity also differentiates you from other people.
Another way children build their identity as they grow older is by comparing themselves to others.
Depending on their level of performance in a group, they start thinking of themselves as bad football players, straight A students, great at telling jokes but not so great at math.
How are identity and self-esteem related?
While identity answers the question “Who are you?”, self-esteem answers to “How do I feel about who I am?”, according to Stanley J. Gross’ article “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem” on PsychCentral.
While you may inherit some identity treats like race and class, you learn self-esteem in your home or school.
However, self-esteem is not always static.
Gross explains that global self-esteem – or what you think of who you are – is constant. And contrarily, situational self-esteem – or what you do – may change depending on the event. For example, you may have a low self-esteem at work and high at home.
In an interview on PsychCentral, Dr. Eddie Brummelman explains self-esteem involves self-evaluation about many aspects of the self. In turn, this may include different aspects of your identity.
Let’s see an example.
If someone asks you who you are, you might reply you are a man, 35, white, an engineer, married with one child, and an amateur painter.
And the evaluation you make of each of these characteristics also becomes part of your identity.
So, you might also define yourself as a typical 35-year-old, a good man, an accomplished engineer, a good husband and father, but a lousy painter.
This is where self-esteem influences and complements your identity.
At this point, identity and self-esteem become intertwined to paint a more complex picture of you that helps you define who you are and stand out from others.
Consequently, high or low self-esteem also affect your identity in a positive or negative way, and it may be a contributing factor in identity crises.
People often associate identity crises with adolescents, but adults of all ages may go through an identity crisis when your sense of self is challenged. In some cases, low self-esteem can make you question some aspects of your identity.
For example, if your work is important to you and you begin to struggle with it, the high levels of stress and low performance can lead you to question whether you made the right career choice and
worry about your future.
Raising Self-Esteem: Are You Stuck On Physical Appearance
If you’re constantly worried about your physical appearance, we have to let you in on a little secret.
That obsession didn’t start with the mirror – it started in your mind.
The way your mind perceives your body affects how you value yourself and affects what you believe your worth to be. You may not realize it, but a healthy body image has a whole lot more to do with your well-being than you think.
It’s emotional and it’s mental and it is controlling what you see when you stand in front of your mirror every morning.
What Is A Healthy Body Image?
It’s more than tolerating what is looking back at you and it’s more than just “not hating” what you look like.
When we use the term healthy body image we mean that you don’t just accept how you look, you like it. You’re not actively making attempts to change it to fit the mental picture you’ve created in your head.
You recognize that there are areas about yourself that you can feel good about, whether it be strengths or individual qualities.
There’s no need to get caught up striving for the perfect body because it doesn’t exist.
This is where self-esteem comes in – it’s how you respect and value yourself as an individual.
It’s the opinion you hold of yourself, both on the outside and on the inside. It goes beyond that, though, it has an impact on how you look after yourself, physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. Self-esteem is about more than just your body, it’s about your entire self.
Why Does It Matter?
Your body image is directly influenced by self-esteem and it also has a strong impact on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
It’s difficult to feel good about your entire self when you are focused on disliking a particular part of your body.
Additionally, it’s hard to respect your body and recognize that it deserves respect when you don’t value yourself.
How To Improve Your Body Image?
You can start by treating your body with respect.
That means getting regular exercise and eating healthily so you can start to feel good about yourself. Every time you find yourself judging other people because of their shape or size you should ask yourself what qualities you’re overlooking just to be critical.
Don’t shop for clothes in a smaller size and tell yourself you’re going to fit into them – it only leads to frustration when you try, and they don’t fit.
Instead, dress in clothes that fit now and that make you feel good. You may want to learn about your body shape and seek advice in the shop about what styles are right for you.
Find positive affirmations that give you a real boost – and write it on notes around your house so you can remind yourself of it regularly.
Replace negative thoughts with more positive ones. While you’re at it, you should surround yourself with friends and family members who are happy and positive.
You should be more aware of how you talk to other people about your body – are you constantly seeking reassurance, and always focused just on physical appearance?
It may help to know that you’re not the only one who has issues with your body, we all experience this from time to time. If there’s a specific area of your body that you are struggling with, sit down and make a list of its positive.
When you find yourself caught up in negative thinking about your physical appearance you should ask yourself what else is going on.
Are you feeling anxious, are you more stressed than usual, are you facing unexpected challenges?
It’s time to dispense loving advice to yourself the same as you would a close friend. Just remember, the bodies you see in magazines and in the media aren’t real.
They’re airbrushed, and blemishes are blurred out.